Phutatorius

"If you really want to know what will get all that wax off your apple peel . . ." began the man in the top hat and Renaissance Era neck-ruffle.

I stopped my frenzied polishing, looked up into his eyes (one brown, one blue), and nodded to indicate Yes. Yes, I would.

"It's urine does that trick." And with that, the man winked at me and vanished from my office doorway, as quickly as he came.