In the spirit of the
Super Size Me documentary, which I still haven't seen, and while all of it remains fresh in my mind, I think I should lay out in full what I had to eat this week, while the Wife was in Madison at her RNA conference.
• Tuesday, June 1: One peanut butter and jelly sandwich; one green apple; one banana; one cup raspberry yogurt; one cheese quesadilla, with sour cream and pico de gallo; one taco "lorenza" (grilled corn tortilla with steak*); one taco "machos" (steak, cheese and chile verde*), four oz. chips, with salsa.
COMMENTARY — On Tuesday we see Phutatorius proceeding with a best-of-intentions packed lunch. The Wife leaves in the interim, and dinner finds him prowling outside That Mexican Place Around the Corner.
• Wednesday, June 2: One glazed doughnut; one plate chicken tikka masala, with rice; one plate chicken curry, with rice; one green apple; three hush puppies; three corn fritters; two Texas-style beef ribs; two Arkansas-style pork ribs; black beans; cole slaw.
COMMENTARY — Wednesday is the day it all goes
completely to shit. The single glazed doughnut is a weekly institution, but on this particular Wednesday it was a harbinger of trouble to come. Redbones' hush puppies and corn fritters are materially different foodstuffs; it is important to try them both on a single visit. It is not critical that one eat three of each. Not with the rib chasers, anyway . . .
• Thursday, June 3: One turkey sandwich on a roll with swiss cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, and mayonnaise; three chocolate chip cookies; one cheese quesadilla with sour cream and pico; one taco "mixto" (steak and chorizo*), one taco "gringas" (lean pork and cheese*), four oz. chips, with salsa.
COMMENTARY — Thursday was the day I began to feel the effects of binging. It started on the treadmill in the morning, a mere ten hours after the Redbones orgy, when a fourteen or fifteen-hour buffer is the bare minimum required before any sustained period of motion is attempted. The turkey sandwich followed a negotiated ceasefire with an indignant GI tract. But then That Mexican Place came calling for dinner, and my outside and insides were at war once again.
• Friday, June 4: One calamari platter, consisting of six oz. marinated calimari salad, one stuffed calamari, two calamari meatballs, six oz. fried calamari, with supporting portions of fried cod and six oz. French fries; caesar salad; one slice pizza with buffalo chicken and pepperoni; two slices pizza with sliced tomatoes, fresh mozzarella, and caramelized onion; one scoop Toscanini's "Hydrox"-flavored ice cream.
COMMENTARY — What can you say about calamari? A man's gotta have it on Friday. The buffalo chicken pizza was over the top, I'll admit. The tomato-mozz pie I split with my uncle and Giovanna. But I had to try that buffalo chicken.
• Saturday, June 5: One bowl Special K Red Berries; two fried vegetable samosas; one tandoori pork rib; one plate vegetarian saag; one plate chicken tikka masala; six oz. naan flatbread; one bowl buttered, salted popcorn; two slices pizza with sliced tomatoes, fresh mozzarella and caramelized onion.
COMMENTARY — Reheating that pizza was the closest I've come to cooking for myself this week. Dinner was light after the all-you-can-eat lunch buffet.
• Sunday, June 6: Two bowls Special K Red Berries; lunch and dinner TBD.
COMMENTARY — I'm thinking That Mexican Place Around the Corner for lunch. The Wife might be back by dinnertime to save me from myself. God help me if she isn't.
*Description taken from menu of the
Sonora Mexican Grill on the corner of Western and Putnam Avenues.
