I could spend a week cataloging what was lousy about that last "Ides of March" post, but that would dwell on the negative. So instead, quick hits, in an upbeat "three cheers" format:
• Three cheers to the fourteen people at last night's Sting concert who did
not yell SHUT THE F**K UP! at the shrieking spastic woman in the left-side orchestra. Your understanding of how silence works did not pass unnoticed in all the hubbub.
• Three cheers to Milwaukee Brewers outfielder
Lyle Overbay, the first Pig Latin-American player to make the majors. And no, all those Josés don't count, because that's not the way Pig Latin works. All the names have to start with vowels.
• Two cheers to Columbus authorities for tracking down and bringing the highway sniper, Charles McCoy, Jr.,
into police custody. A cheer of her own goes to the alert profiler who realized that all the fired-on cars were registered to Hatfields.
• Three cheers to the Utah lawmakers who opposed the state's
abolition of death by firing squad in defense of the age-old principle that all five of a convicted criminal's wives should get to play a role in his execution.
• And finally, three cheers to Diane Keaton for her stubborn commitment, against all odds, to bring back the
leather beret.
It was an abortion, Michael. It was a son. A son, and I had it killed because this must all end . . .
