A good, brow-ridge grabbing monocle can be hell for the first week or so. That is, until you achieve the required skin-thickening atop the cheekbone, your monocle can really dig into your face. You can expect wear and tear during the first couple of days — cuts, blistering — and, if you're not careful placing and removing that little devil, you can give yourself a wicked laceration.
You just need to stick it out.
A lot of would-be monocle wearers will call their optometrist after that first, long day; they'll complain of the gouge and demand a looser fit. But believe me, people, go with the gauge your doctor gives you. He's the professional, and he knows — like I do — that unless you really wedge that lens in there, you're going to spend your days contorting your face trying to hold that monster in place. The result? Muscular overgrowth and visible skin-stretching on one side of your face. And in a society that places an aesthetic premium on anatomical symmetry, you do yourself a grand disservice with all that unnecessary perk and droop.
So hang tough, people. Go with your doctor's recommendation — you might even consider going up a half-size — I promise you that in ten days, you will have the slotted callus that you need to stabilize and support that monocle even through strenuous, bouncy, sweaty exercise. It's well worth the wait and the pain to get there: with this retro-stylish and eminently functional prosthetic, you'll be the talk of your social circle!
